What We Have Learned (so far...)

Being a mom has taught me a lot. More than I ever thought I could learn. I learned you can survive with very little sleep, with lots of coffee. I learned a love so deep that it makes your heart explode and hurt at the same time. I learned that little boys need to be covered at all times when you change their diaper. I learned that my husband is a pretty amazing daddy. Being a mom has taught me that you have to be flexible sometimes and schedules aren’t always followed. Turns out, kids don’t have an on and off switch. I’ve learned a lot in the past two years, thanks to being a mom. 

But being a mom of a medically complex/special needs/all around bad@$$ kiddo has taught me so much more.

It’s taught me empathy, compassion, advocacy and strength. I’ve always thought I knew these things. I’m a special educator by trade, afterall. I know empathy. I know compassion. I know kindness. I’d argue now that I was pretty clueless before. Sure, I was respectful. I treated families and kids with respect and attempted to put myself in their shoes. But I had no idea. It’s also taught me how to reflect, speak with emotion but also with logic, and it’s taught me to always ask questions. 

You see, you learn a lot when you watch your kid fight for his life. You learn a lot about strength when doctors look you in the eye (most of them, at least) and give you earth shattering news. And you learn a hell of a lot when you have to tell others how to care for your child, since he pretty much defies most medical definitions. 

Wyatt isn’t textbook by any stretch of the imagination. He’s not typical. He’s not straightforward. And he certainly isn’t weak. Which is why I can’t be weak either. 

Compassion was taught to us by nurses, doctors, therapists. They showed us how to care for our son, despite his differences. They showed us love when we were in our darkest hours. We now know how to love others in their darkest hours. They also taught us how to fight. To speak up for Wyatt and for others. I’ve always advocated for those with special needs, but now I do it with more passion than I’ve ever had because it’s personal. 

I have learned how to be strong even though I may feel so weak. Putting on a brave face and fighting this fight head on, because that’s what Wyatt needs. Strength to push Wyatt when he needs to be pushed, and strength to say when it’s enough. Strength to know my own limits in terms of feelings or abilities. Looking to others for support, when we need it. I’ll admit, this lesson has been the hardest one both personally and professionally. Friendships have been tested, priorities have shifted. It’s hard watching the world around you continue to go on, but strength is what gets us through our days. 

Wyatt will continue to grow and amaze us, continuing to teach me about being a better mom.